Missing You
by ChibiChichiri
Summary: Drifting into the heart and mind of second child Asuka Langley Sohryu. What are her true thoughts about Shinji? She finds out after a period of time when Shinji is thought to be dead.


Disclaimer: No, none of these characters in my story are mine!! They are all property of their respective owner(s). Most of them are GAINAX's. Not mine. Ok? Thank you.   
  
Damn. I suck at disclaimers.  
  
Spoiler Warning: Yes there are lots of spoilers here. Pretty much the whole story takes place during episode 16, the episode with that really funny looking black and white ball angel.  
  
  
  


~Missing You~  
  
Written by Chichiri (aka Chibi_Chichiri)  
  


  
An exhausted Asuka shuffled into her room, shutting the door behind her. She sighed as she flopped down on her bed, completely worked out. It had been a long and tiring day today. The 12th angel had attacked just this afternoon, and the evas had lost the days battle. Also, Unit 01 and Shinji had been swallowed up into the Sea of Dirac during the fight. A rescue mission to try to save Shinji would comence tomorrow at noon.   
  
That angel came from nowhere. Shinji really didn't have a chance. The shadow had came right beneath him and swallowed him up, as if it were quicksand. There was no way he could have escaped. Ritsuko had said that if Shinji converted into the most minimal life support mode, and conserved the energy he had left, he could stay alive for a few more hours. But what if he didn't conserve his energy? Or if him and his Eva some how got destroyed inside the sea of Dirac? Then Shinji wouldn't come back...   
  
Asuka turned on the radio and closed her eyes. Nothing but crap music on. Asides from the low-volumed music of her radio, it was eerily quiet inside the apartment. Perhaps because Shinji or Misato weren't there. Misato was still at NERV, trying hard to plan out some way to save Shinji. This whole incident really hurt her bad. Right after Shinji sunk into the angel, Misato broke down crying. For all she knew Shinji could be dead, and he had grown very close to Misato over the months. It took some comforting from Hyuga and Maya, but she soon pulled herself back together.   
  
"That idiot." Asuka said to herself. "Telling me how I should do things..."   
  
Asuka got up from her bed and strolled out of her bedroom and into the living room. She took the remote control off the floor and started to search for something good to watch. There was nothing really good on, so she settled for some shoujo anime.  
  
"Hmpph...I can't believe I'm watching this crap."   
  
She laid back down on the floor and thought about what had happend earlier today.  
  
"I'll show you how its done Asuka!" Shinji smirked as he ran off towards the angel, pulling out a gun from a nearby building along his way. "You better stay back, after all fighting is a man's job!"  
  
That was the last thing he said to Asuka before he was swallowed up by the Angel.   
  
"That little chauvanistic piglet...Serves him right for saying that to me...I hope he did die inside that angel." Asuka said violently. "But at least now I have no more invincible Shinji to worry about." she said with a smirk.   
  
It was getting really late, and Asuka was really hungry. She hadn't eaten anything since the other night, since they were called to NERV right before breakfast.   
  
Asuka slowly stood up and made her way to the kitchen.   
  
She rummaged through the cabinets looking for something even a little bit appetizing. All that was in there was instant food from a while ago. Misato hadn't gone grocery shopping in two weeks, so most of the instant foods were left overs that no one really wanted to eat.   
  
"Curry and Garlic flavored flavored Ramen?" Asuka said out loud as she read the label on one of the instant food packages. "No thank you..."   
  
She picked up another one and looked at the label. "Shrimp and Onion Ramen?...Yuck...I hate shrimp.." Asuka said as she thew it back into the cabinet. "Guess I'll have to go with the Curry and garlic then...."   
  
Asuka went to the microwave with her food and warmed it up. She stood next to the microwave and leaned on the counter and waited until it was done.   
  
"Normally Shinji would have made dinner..." Asuka thought to herself. "And it was much better than this crap. I wouldn't have to eat this if he hadn't been so stubborn and went along with Misato's plans..."  
  
*BEEP, BEEP, BEEP*  
  
The food was done heating up and the microwave shut itself off. Asuka quickly took her food out and brought it with her to the table.   
  
"Eww...This is disgusting." She cringed as she inhaled the bitter aroma of the garlic and curry flavored noodles. "Damn you Shinji. You're pissing me off even when your not here..."  
  
It was the only thing left to eat...So she sat down and started consuming her "delicious" dinner.   
  
The apartment was still too quiet. Even with the radio on in her room, and the T.V. on in the living room. It was still too quiet. Asuka had to admit, it was better with Shinji here than being alone. He did keep good company, even just a little.  
  
The food was completely disgusting. Asuka dropped her chopsticks and slid the bowl over the center of the table. She glanced in front of her, at the empty seat across the table. Shinji used to sit there. All that what was there now was his apron, hung neatly on top of the chair.   
  
Asuka did miss Shinji, if not much then at least a little. Maybe she didn't miss his personality, his face, and basically him, but she missed his food, his cleaning, and someone to constantly argue with...   
  
"Damn...this means I'm gonna have to make my own lunch for school..." Asuka frowned.  
  
"Sqwauk!!"  
  
"What?" Asuka jumped out of her seat as she felt something brush against her leg. She looked under the table and saw PenPen with his mouth wide open.  
  
"Sheesh...its only you..." Asuka let out a sigh of relief. "Looks like you're hungry too, right?...Hmmm, I guess Misato didn't feed you since this morning."  
  
Asuka picked up the bowl of noodles on the table and set it under the table. PenPen hungrily shoved his mouth in and began consuming his dinner.   
  
She sat back down in her seat and put her head down on the table.   
  
"This is so boring..." Asuka said as she began to close her eyes.  
  
She quickly picked her head up as she suddenly she heard some music coming from her room.  
  
"Oh yeah...the radio." She mumbled as she got up, and began to walk back down the hall.  
  
The music grew louder and louder as she drew closer to her bedroom. The music did sound awfully familiar though...  
  
She sat down on her bed as she listened to the hum of a cello on the radio.   
  
Asuka liked this music piece a lot. It was probably the only piece of classical music she actually liked. The music was so soft...so beautiful... It was very soothing and very...pleasant.   
  
Shinji had played this before. It was called "Suiten fur Violoncello." She spent the whole afternoon one day just listening to him play his cello. It was probably one of the only things she liked about him.  
  
"Hmmph...this guy is much better than Shinji..." Asuka commented.   
  
She layed down on her bed as she relaxed to the music. Her eyes wandered around her room, as she rested. She stopped suddenly when she saw a picture frame lying on the floor.   
  
Asuka got off her bed and kneeled right next to the photo.  
  
It was a picture of her and Shinji during their synchronization training for the battle with the 7th angel. She and Shinji were both on their colored mats, with headphones on, and "dancing like they wanted to win." Hikari had taken this picture while she, Touji, and Kensuke were over at the apartment. The only reason Asuka had kept this photo was because Hikari wanted her to. It was also one of those rare moments where she and Shinji weren't actually fighting...  
  
Asuka's calm expression turned to anger as she through the picture frame across the room and into the wall.   
  
"Damn you Shinji!!" She yelled, as a tear escaped her eye. "Why did you have to be so cocky!!"   
  
She picked up a textbook from her shelf and threw it violently at the radio, knocking it over and turning it off.  
  
"Damn you!! Damn you Shinji!!..."She screamed as a few more tears had made their way down her cheek.  
  
Asuka suddenly had a flashback of the first time they had kissed...  
  
-Asuka and Shinji are standing right in front of each other. Just a few centimeters seperating the two.  
  
Asuka: Stop breathing so hard...its tickling me...  
  
Shinji: Wha?! Mphh....  
  
Shinji is interrupted as Asuka quickly holds his nose tight and puts her mouth on top of his. Asuka starts exploring the inside of Shinji's mouth with her toungue, as she closes her eyes.   
  
A few seconds had passed since they had started kissing. Asuka may be even enjoying this kiss, as small moans can be heard escaping from her mouth. Meanwhile, Shinji is turning all the different colors of the rainbow as he struggles not to pass out from lack of oxygen.   
  
Shinji finally jumps out of the kiss and Asuka's hold, gasping for her. Asuka is stunned as a rush of blood overwhlems her face, and she blushes deep red.   
  
Ikari finally looks up at Asuka, who quickly hid her crimson face from him and rushes to the bathroom to brush her teeth and wash out his saliva from her mouth -  
  
Asuka cried into her palms, as she remembers the rare and few times she and Shinji had together.  
  
"Shinji you asshole!!... Why did you have to be so fucking stubborn!?!" She screams, as if expecting an answer.  
  
Asuka tightly pulled her legs to her chest, and wrapped her arms around them, as she continued to cry lightly.  
  
"Shinji...."  
  
~  
  
Asuka looked back at the clock on top of her dresser. She was seated at the foot of her bed, with ocassionally a few tears excaping every few moments.   
  
12:49 A.M. It had been almost an hour since she started crying.   
  
"Why did he have to do that...Why did he have to try to impress everyone... Why didn't Misato let me lead instead of him?..." Asuka asked herself.   
  
Her thoughts had all been in a jumble. She was tied up with either being mad at Shinji's actions, happy that he's gone, or sad because he won't be coming home ever again...   
  
"I could have saved him...I could have... If I just ran faster... He would be here right now..." she thought to herself.  
  
Asuka finally pulled herslef together, and wiped the remaining tears from her eyes. She slowly stood up and walked out of her room.  
  
She walked down the hall and headed towards the bathroom. However, she stopped at the frontof Shinji's room, noticing that the door was open.  
  
Asuka stepped in and looked around. Shinji's cello was placed in the corner next to his school bag. The curtains were halfway down and his desklamp was still on. His bedsheets and pillow were neatly placed on top of his bed and his houseclothes were folded and placed at the foot of his bed.   
  
"Shinji's room..." she said as she smiled weakly.  
  
Asuka walked over towards Shinji's bed and knelt next to it. She picked up the clothes next to his bed and held them up in front of her.  
  
"Shinji's clothes..." She thought to herself.   
  
"Shinji's smell..."  
  
Her eyes started tearing as she hugged the clothes tightly against her chest.  
  
"Please Shinji...Come home..." Asuka silently cried. "Come home...."   
  
~  
  
Asuka yawned and slowly sat up from the bed. She stretched her back as she rubbed her eyes and tried to get them into focus. The redhead glanced at her surroundings.  
  
She realized that this was Shinji's room. Apparantly, she had spent the night in here.  
  
"Then it wasn't a dream..." Asuka thought to herself. " Shinji's...not here."  
  
"Hmmm....6:18 a.m. Still pretty early..."  
  
She was about to get up when she realized that the small pile of Shinji's clothes she had with her was still in her hand.   
  
"I could have saved you Shinji...I'm sorry.." Asuka said sadly as she began to fold the clothes neatly on her lap. " Even after you saved me before..."  
  
A tear rolled down the girl's cheek, as she remembered the time when she had been sinking into that lava pit, and Shinji had saved her right in the nick of time. She would have surely died if Shinji hadn't grabbed on to her in the last second.  
  
"I'm sorry..."   
  
The fully awake redhead stood up and made her way back to the living room.   
  
"..the T.V. is still on.." Asuka thought to herself as she layed down on the sofa and started to watch the program on the televsion set.  
  
"Hello Kitty" was on at the time. Misato didn't come home yet. If she did, she probably would have at least turned off the television set on her way in.  
  
"Its been a while since I watched this..."  
  
- A very young Asuka is seen in front of a T.V. watching "Hello Kitty."  
  
"Oh oh My favorite part!!" the little girl squealed.  
  
Suddenly, the televsion is shut off by some woman in a housedress.   
  
"Asuka, thats too much T.V. for tonight...You better get to bed to bed. Little girls need to get a good night's sleep so they won't be cranky in the morning."   
  
"But it was my favorite part!!.."  
  
"No buts! You can watch more Kitty tomorrow, Asuka. But you have to sleep now. Hurry and go upsatirs, I'll be there to tuck you in, in a couple of minutes. I have to finish something first." With that said, the woman turned and walked back to the kitchen.  
  
"Now, where were we honey.." The woman smiled as she put her arms around her husband and kissed him.   
  
"Asuka go to bed now! You're mother and I have some work to do." Asuka's father ordered.  
  
"She's not Mommy!!" the little girl ran towards the stairway crying. She looked back at the man and woman in the kitchen who were rather infatuated with each other presence.  
  
"Dear, not in front of the girl..." The woman said as her words were cut off by the man busily kissing her neck.  
  
"Who cares...Let her watch..." He said pinning the womans arms against the wall.  
  
"N...No...Not..Now..." The woman tried telling her new husband... but he didn't sem to hear her.  
  
The little girl kept on crying and ran up the stairs, as the two adults continued their obscene activity.-  
  
"I hate them both..." Asuka mumbled as she began squeezing the remote control as if she was trying to break it with her bear hands. "I hate them...Right after mother died... He married HER... I hate her!... I hate mother!!...I hate father!!"   
  
Asuka turned around and punched her pillow. "I hate them all!!...they all abandonded me..." She said as she began to cry.  
  
"Why does everyone leave me..." Asuka thought to herself. She soon stopped crying and her breathing returned to normal.  
  
Asuka took the bottom of her shirt and wiped her tear-stanied face with it.  
  
Then she just sat on the sofa silently, just thinking to her self.   
  
" Shinji..."   
  
She turned and looked back at the television screen. Tenchi Muyo was on now. Asuka gave one last sniffle and then focused her attention back to the T.V. screen.   
  
" I don't want to be alone..."   
  
~  
  
7:12 a.m.  
  
Asuka got up and shut the television off. She was about to go back into her room and get some more rest, when she heard the clip-clopping of high heeled shoes from somewhere outside the apartment. The noise kept on growing louder and faster. The person was probably running from somewhere.  
  
Suddenly, the noise stopped right in front of the apartment doorstep. Next, the door quickly flew open as an exhausted Misato Katsuragi popped into the room.  
  
"Asu...Asuka...Get dressed...Now!..." Misato managed to say between breaths.  
  
" What!?...Why?"  
  
"Shinji's alive..."   
  
Asuka's eyes went wide open in shock to what Misato had just said.   
"Shinji's alive?!?"  
  
~  
  
Asuka peered through the infirmary window and saw Shinji sleeping peacefully in his bed.  
  
" Is he ok?"   
  
"Physically, yes. However, we still don't know for sure what problems the incident may have caused him emotionally and mentally." Ritsuko explained. "He's just sleeping now."  
  
Asuka let out a sigh of relief. For a second there she thought that Shinji may have gotten severely hurt, or even worse, entered a comatose state or something.  
  
"Can I go see him now?" Asuka asked.  
  
"It would be best if you see him later. We just pulled him out of his entry plug a few hours ago and..."  
  
"Please..." Asuka interrupted. "Even just for a few minutes... I really want to see him... Please Dr. Akagi..."   
  
Ritsuko glanced at Asuka. The girl's expression was quite sincere. She could tell that Asuka really wanted to go in... But since when had Asuka ever pleaded to see Shinji? This must have been some kind of joke... Although, maybe Asuka really was serious about this...  
  
"Well...I don't know if I can let you. The rules do say to prohibit any visitors from entering a patient's room until at least 2 to 3 hours after the patient has been placed in the infirmiry..." Ritsuko told her.   
  
Asuka sighed and began to walk away.   
  
"Wait." Ritsuko put her hand on Asuka's shoulder.   
  
Asuka turned around and looked back at Ritsuko.  
  
Dr. Akagi slowly pulled out her ID card and swiped it through the access slot, causing the infirmiry door to slide open.  
  
"But you do know that Shinji will still be asleep for a couple more hours, correct?"  
  
"Yes."  
  
Ritsuko guestured for Asuka to go in.  
  
"Thank you."   
  
"Just don't take to long." Ritsuko smiled.  
  
Asuka nodded and slowly walked into the room right towards Shinji's bed. The room was pretty big, but barely anything was inside it. Just a bed, an I.V. stand, a small table, and a chair.   
  
Asuka carefully pulled up the chair from underneath the table, and sat right next to the bed. Shinji was sleeping soundly. She could still smell the LCL on him, even though they probably had him cleaned already.   
  
Even though its been only a day, it seemed like weeks or even months without him. Asuka realized that she had actually missed Shinji very much....not just his cooking or his cleaning, but him. She didn't notice it before, but she grew very attached to him...maybe even more attached to him than Misato is.  
  
Asuka gently ran her fingers through his hair and smiled. She was glad to see him here, and safe. She really couldn't believe she was doing this... But what would she have done if Shinji didn't come back? Asuka cringed at the thought.  
  
"Baka..." Asuka whipered to him. "Why did you have to go off and do that? You had me worried, Shinji... And you could have gotten yourself killed."  
  
"You even made me cry last night." she said, taking hold of his hand. " I missed you so much..."  
  
" He looks so peaceful when he sleeps..." Asuka thought to herself.  
  
"Just don't leave me again, ok Shinji?" She whispered softly into his ear.   
  
Asuka leaned over and kissed him gently on the lips.   
  
"I'll see you later... the moment you wake up."   
  
With one last smile, Asuka turned and walked out of the room. The door immidately closed behind her.  
  
"Might as well wait for him..." she said to herself. " Anyway, I don't think I can go to school today..."  
  
The exhausted redhead slowly sat down on a chair right outside the room. She was about to take a little nap when she heard that familiar sound if high-heels coming down the hall.   
  
"Asuka!"  
  
The redhead quickly picked her head up, and quickly looked around to seee who had called her.  
  
"There you are. I was looking for you!" Misato barked.  
  
"Hello Misato..." Asuka said weakly. She was still a bit tired, since she didn't get very much sleep last night.  
  
" Why didn't you tell me you were gonna go to the room without me? Sheesh, I take one little bathroom break, and you run off without me?"  
  
"Sorry...I couldn't wait.." Asuka apologized. She was really not in the mood to argue.  
  
Misato looked at Asuka and saw how tired she was.   
  
"They pulled him out of his Eva about a few hours ago."  
  
"What?"   
  
" His Eva mysteriously came out of the angel and killed it, right before his life support was completely depleted. Shinji's Eva seemed to have went berserk again."   
  
"Oh.."  
  
"You did miss him, didn't you?" Misato asked.  
  
No answer.   
  
"Don't worry Asuka.... I won't tell him." Misato smiled and started to walk away.  
  
I have to finish up some paperwork at my office now...I'll see you in a couple of hours ok?"   
  
"Sure..."  
  
As Misato started to walk away out of sight, Asuka drifted off to sleep.  
  
~  
  
Asuka woke up abruptly. The sound of the opening of the door beside her, is proably what had waken her up. She poked her head through the infirmiry window and looked inside to see who had gone in.  
  
Shinji was already awake. And the other person in the room was Rei.  
  
"What!? Wondergirl?!"   
  
Asuka quickly looked at the clock above her, and saw that she had been asleep for a few hours. She quickly returned her attention to the two people inside the room.  
"What are they doing in there??!" Asuka quietly said to herself.   
  
Shinji and Rei were calmly talking inside the room. Asuka couldn't hear any of the coversation, mainly because the door was made out of 3 inch thick metal and soundproof glass. Shinji seemed to be enjoying the conversation. Rei was....indifferent.  
  
"Damn wondergirl..." Asuka mumbled.  
  
"Well at least Shinji's alive and well..." She thought to herself. Asuka paused for a few seconds and thought about last night's incidents... "At least he's ok..."  
  
Suddenly, the door slid open and Rei walked right past Asuka. Shinji stared at Asuka, who was right behind where the door had been when it was closed.   
  
"Your Turn." Rei said flatly.  
  
It took a few seconds for Asuka to realize that she was still standing in front of the doorway. When she did, she blushed, quickly jumped out of view and hid behind the other side of the wall. A few giggles are heard from Shinji inside the room. It was kinda embarassing...  
  
Shinji squrimed his head a bit to see his redheaded room mate hiding behind the wall.  
"Hey Asuka! I know you're here!"   
  
A small smile slowly spread across Asuka's face as she hid away from the boy's view.   
  
"My baka-Shinji is back..."  
  


  
  
  
  
  
End.  
  


  
  
  
  
Author's notes:  
  
So how'd you guys like the fic? This is my first "serious fic" my others are either really dumb or parodies. What? You guys want a sequel? Hmmm... I know I really left you guys hanging with that ending. I might make a sequel to this. Most likely. Even more, if I know people like it...(Makes my day a lot happoer^_^) And also if I have a really good idea for a continuation.   
  
There was just this really lingering thought I just had to write about. I guess ever since I watched episode 15 of Eva. I always wanted to know... What did Asuka do when Shinji got sucked into the Sea of Dirac? So I just wrote my own version of what I *hoped* happend. A more WAFFy view. But a sort of believable kind of WAFF. (Some WAFFs make me wanna puke right in front of the computer) I could have easily made Asuka start laughing really hard and celebrating that Shinji might be dead...but I didn't like that view. There really wasn't any Romance in this fic...right?   
  
Also, Thanks to my prereaders!!(A special thanks to Sado who spellchecked and grammar checked my fic...Must have taken u awhile, eh Sado?) Thank you guys!! You helped me soooo much!!   
  
Prereaders (No particular order)  
Chaos Dragon (CGreat3871@aol.com)  
Sado King (sado_king@hotmail.com)   
TommyRude (tommyrude@hotmail.com)   
J.C. Severson (JCWaunakee@hotmail.com)  
  
But anyways, I hoped you liked my story!!   
  
If you have any Questions/Comments/Criticism/Left over Ramen, don't hesitate to send em to me at:  
  
chibi_chichiri@hotmail.com  
  
  
  
  
  
Started: 4/31/00  
Version 1: 4/31/00  
Version 1.5: 5/01/00  
Version 1.7: 5/2/00   
Version 2.0: 5/6/00  
Quick final editting: 12/27/00   
  
  
  



End file.
